My Politician. Where were you?

Where were you when two innocent were brutally gang raped on Kanpur highway?

Where were you when innocent  dalits were flogged by the so-called “cow protectors/gou rakshaks”?

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Where were you when a bridge was swept away in Maharashtra?

Innocent died for no fault of theirs and not even a single head rolled.

Where were you when an innocent was killed over the assumption of consuming beef?

Where were you when poor died by the side of the road?

Where were you when the millennium city came to a halt because of a bad drainage system?

Time has come for us to ask the tough questions.

For how long will we allow our politicians to get away with things?

How long?

All they can do after a catastrophe is “Order an Enquiry”.

Seriously? Are we to trust their enquiries?

Nothing has come out of these “high level” enquiries in years.

It has been 70 years since India was freed from the clutches of British.

Most of us find solace in the “pseudo” freedom world we are living in.

Are we really free?

I guess not.

The freedom which our ancestors planned for us is diluted today.

Our politicians have let us down from time to time.

70 years of freedom and we cannot act in times of flood, drought or any natural calamity.

70 years of freedom and human life is the cheapest. Even animals (especially cows) have a valuable life than us.

The so-called “great” politicians of our country have blinded us with fake promises.

One party after another has led us to believe, they are our saviours.

And when the time comes to help us, their callousness is what we get in return for getting them to be our rulers.

We, the kingmakers and queen makers are nothing more than a puppet in hands of our political class.

On one hand, we have a dynasty scion who wakes up from sleep every time he sees a political opportunity to milk.

On the other, we have a leader who is high on talks and low on action, when the guilty are a part of his political outfit.

Following them are the others (who aspire to be the next PM).

A leader in Delhi, who promised us the change.

I can doubtlessly write “he is one of them. He sheds crocodile tears for poor. He makes us believe he is one of us. At a time, he could have been one of us but today he is one of them.”

A leader in Bihar who punishes everyone for drinking alcohol.

Since when did eating and drinking habits of citizens of a country become a government subject?

Why are we at the mercy of our political leader to decide what I should eat and what I should drink?

Bihar is not one of the best starts in India. The revenue sources are small. Crime is not the lowest and all our leader could think was banning “liquor”.

The liquor ban is absurd, to say the least.

70 years after freedom, we still remain a developing country.

Why can’t we jump from being a developing country to a developed country?

Why is it that I am forced to look at the skyscrapers in the metro cities in India to gauge our growth and ignore the poverty in villages?

Time has come for us to make our leaders accountable.

For how long will they beat the same bush?

In their blame game of politics, we are the sufferers.

I seriously want to take them to court when a tragedy happens.

Probably, the court can ask them “why were you sleeping till now? Where is the concept of proactive approach?”


But the judiciary has its own share of biasedness and corruption.

They are busy fighting their battles with the central government.

We can wait for a long time before we can expect the court to deliver us justice.

Where was I for so long?

I am writing after 4 months.

I took a sabbatical to pursue a different passion.

So much has happened since I last wrote.

The little contribution I made as a “keyword warrior” is what I missed during my sabbatical from the mango man.

I am back.

I won’t be as frequent as I was earlier but I promise to write from time to time.

As of now, I have switched on my TV to hear our PM speak.

My mobile’s ringtone is changed to show the mood of the nation.

“Sarey Jahan se Acha…Hindustan humara”

“Happy Independence day”

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I support Salman Khan as the brand ambassador of India for upcoming Olympics game

“Salman may not have competed but is an A list swimmer, cyclist and weight lifter. Sportsmen are performing because of sports lovers like us.” -Salim Khan, proud father of Salman Khan.

And I agree with Mr. Salim Khan. We all love our kids. Irrespective of how brash, stupid, dimwitted they turn out to

New Delhi : Bollywood actor Salman Khan with boxer MC Mary Kom and hockey captain Sardar Singh during a function where the actor was announced as Goodwill Ambassador of Indian contingent for Rio Olympics 2016, in New Delhi on Saturday. PTI Photo by Manvender Vashist  (PTI4_23_2016_000169B) *** Local Caption ***

be. We love adore them.

He is just another Indian Dad who listed N qualities of his son. And i agree with all of them.

For the first time since Salman Khan allegedly mowed down few street rats, I am going to support Salman Bhai.

After all, he is someone who has been human for ages.

Irrespective of all the hype around why Bhai was made the brand ambassador, I am going to write unbiasedly on why he is the right guy for the job.

Salman Bhai is someone who has given the largest number of 100 Cr hits in last few years. In short, he is the undisputed king of Bollywood. Most of you will be wondering what Bollywood has to do with Olympics?

Well. Bollywood is what affects us the most. At least, Bollywood is more popular than the Indian Olympics team.

You don’t believe me.

Tell me. Who is Yogeshwar Dutt. Please don’t answer, he is a relative of Sanjay Dutt. One of my family members actually did say that.

See. I told you. Bhai is more popular than any of the sportsperson in our country.

Now gauge his popularity to that of any of ex-Indian Olympic star? Milka singh – P.T Usha?

We don’t even remember which race they exactly participated in. All we remember is, they were the great stars of yester years.

He can make the nation go crazy just by dancing to “Olympics ki raat ho…Bhai ka death ho”.

Don’t you think, the nation will watch Olympics because of Bhai?

At least, I will.

And this is not it.

He is multi-talented too.

He can convince Olympics association to include car racing in Olympics. He can show them how well he drives.

He can support our shooters by showing his shooting skills.

And he can change the mood of whole Indian Olympics contingent by singing, dancing, acting, etc, etc.

Don’t you think our team deserves some entertainment?

Why should cricket have all the fun?

I also heard bhai (out of generosity) has decided to do this noble task for free.

I can hear music in background “Aaj ki party meri taraf se”

Now this is music to my ears.

  • “Bhai Ka Fan” Desh ka Mango Man!

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Endorsements,Celebrities and The Mango Men

Endorsers for brands making false promises might soon end up in soup.

The GOI has decided to take action against ads misguiding users.

The regulation also makes the brand ambassador guilty in case of any wrong promise made by the brand.

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The advertisement industry has opposed the move of government calling it unfair.

According to the detractors of the move, the onus is on consumer not advertisers.

To an extent, they have a point.

We all know deodorants will not get us, girls.

Fairness creams will not make us fairer.

The kids will never get brainer by consuming food supplements.

And Soft drinks don’t make us any cooler than we are.

Then why the hell are we so naïve to believe them?

Is it the influence of Idiot box in our lives? Or the wish to be like our heroes by following everything they do?

I am in favour of celebrities applying a mind of their own before endorsing a brand.

They are hero-worshipped in the country.

The Celebrities, cricket stars of our Countries are treated as gods in our country.

Isn’t it wrong on their behalf to misguide their disciples into using a dubious product.

Moving ahead. Here is my list of endorsements celebrities need to avoid:

  1. Tobacco and Alcohol products:

Do you have any idea on the number of deaths consumption of tobacco leads to every year? The number stands at 6 million (roughly). (read :

The government has banned direct ads of tobacco and alcohol.

How wrong was the government in coming with a policy which is full of loopholes.

We live in a country of jugaad.

The corporates found a way to beat the policy by launching unrelated products under the same umbrellas.

Now we have a tobacco company selling perfumed elaichi (cardamom).

A company, run by the king of good times Vijay Mallya found a way to promote their brand “Kingfisher” by becoming the sponsor of IPL. If only kingfisher was not associated with kingfisher airlines, i could have fogiven them.

The celebrities promoting brands with interest in alcohol and tobacco include Priyanka Chopra, Akshay Kumar and Ajay dewgan, to name a few.

Money or ignorance? The reason to opt for the brand names is yet unknown.

I hope all celebrities ban the tobacco and liquor brands.

  1. Deodorants:

Deodorants can help us get the sexist of women by subsiding the “smell” from our body party.

At least, this is what the new ads claim.

And how do they do this magical wonder?

Do they take away the smell from the smelliest pits on the human race walking the mother earth?

or Do they give every single deodorant male user the magnetic power to pull females towards them?

The sexist ads depicting women as naïve creatures, attracted to deodorant infected men are gross.

I have a smart idea for deodorant ads.

How about they provide condoms along with the “killer” deos they sell?

The whole process of attraction -> consummation can be completed in a single go.

The ads can read “Get attracted and get laid safely”. Ta-da!

  1. Property Builders:

Dhoni recently parted ways with a renowned builder in Noida, Amrapali Group.

The divorce of the two parties was an outcome of dhoni getting trolled by distressed residents of Amrapali Sapphire society.

The trolling led to Dhoni getting undue bad publicity for endorsing a brand which has thousands of unhappy customers.

I think Amrapali got into the limelight because of their DHONI association. Otherwise, the list of builders, who have harassed the consumers is endless.

No wonder, they are willing to give a free car, ac, parking, etc, etc with flats today.

The builders have unsold inventory in thousands. Most of them are reeling under huge loans from banks and private investors.

I would call it “karmas”.

They killed the great middle-class dream. Now  of owning a flat in the super expensive real estate market in metro cities.

The middle class has matured now and is giving it back to them by not buying from them.

  1. Fairness creams:

When the fairest actress in Bollywood decides to endorse a fairness cream, you are bound to be zapped.

Giving her company is the Badshah of Bollywood.

Are they telling us “Being unfair is unattractive”?

What happened to the original Indian Dusky beauty?

When the actress endorses the fairness brand, I can understand her situation. She is new in the industry.

Has had a series of flops to her name and needs anything to keep the cash flowing in.

What about the superstar Shahrukh Khan?

He is someone who has an opinion on every single topic in the country. Can he speak on why he endorses the “fairness cream” brands?

Does he have a complex with his not so fair complexion?

Has he forgotten, the country had accepted him for his skills, not colour.

He literally applied layers of powder to make himself fair and “lovely”(pun intended) in the misleading ad.

Recently, a fairness cream company was heavily fined for making false promises.

Time our brand ambassadors put an end to the absurdity of the fairness creams.

  1. Soft drinks and sugar coated Drinks:

One can of coke has 10 teaspoons of sugar. This is the daily intake you are allowed in a day (source : You can add the numbers and calculate the amount of sugar you consume with the soft drinks daily.

The soft drinks are nothing but a lot of fizzes mixed with a lot of sugar.

For a country with a huge diabetic population, soft drinks are suicidal.

I hope our brand ambassadors do some reading.

They are the superstars who are followed blindly, madly, religiously by millions of followers in the country.

It’s time they do not mislead their followers.

Quoting Ben Parker from Spiderman “With great power comes great responsibilities”. (I am a sly Spiderman fan who does not do the Spiderman tricks knowing the consequences)

Who should pay for Vijay Mallya’s mistakes?

The king of good times has disappeared from India.

Although, he is still active on twitter. We are yet to find a way to prosecute his twitter account.

The diplomatic policy with the USA does not allow prosecution of twitter accounts :).

I am sure Vijay Mallya (now the king of debt times) is sitting comfortably in his Country house in England pitying the Indian government, bureaucracy, CBI, Banks and every single entity he has evaded before flying royally out of Vijay Mallya Kingfisher Airlinesthe country of his birth.

Few days back, Mr. Mallya resigned as a director from Royal Challengers Bangalore (the IPL franchisee owned by him).

His son, the Jr. Mallya (whose bank account details he refuses to share with banks) will stay on board.

He will serve as an “honorary” member. I am still unsure of what honorary means here. Will he be honoured for screwing happiness of thousands of kingfisher employees or is he already honoured for running an IPL franchisee, despite owing banks thousands of crores?

Looking at the events witnessed in last few days/weeks, we can be sure this royal kingfisher (Vijay Mallya) is no way migrating back to India.

banks today stand at 9000 Cr INR of debt (courtesy: kingfisher airlines).

Add to this, the amount he owed to Tax departments, employees, etc and you have enough money to feed an entire country in Africa.

So who will now pay for all the follies of Mr. Mallya ?

The buck needs to stop at someone.

If Mr. Mallya does not come back (I am sure he won’t), we should make these parties pay for his misdeeds:

  1. The Banking heads:

I understand Vijay Mallya’s liquor brands were very popular.
“One of the best” is what they were called in the market.

But were they reason enough for our banking system to act like drunkards and dole out loans worth thousands of crores to his sick units?

Did they drink his “good” liquor and signed loans in an inebriated state ?

The managers, management, babus. Every single damn person involved in approving the loan should be made to pay for this fiasco.

Even if we recover 1 Cr from the guilty bank officials, we will pass a right message to the population of the country.

  1. Politicians:

How our government banks are controlled by politicians is an open secret?

How Years after years, these banks have funded the sick units of our corporate is a part of case studies of all MBA finance courses.

Don’t we need to go and find the honourable political heads of the banks, under whose stewardship banks rolled our millions, without even understanding the risk they are putting their bank into.

The same public banks who treat normal customers like shit suddenly gifted millions on a platter to an airline which was flown only to make a loss is a no brainer.

How can the biggest financial institutions of this country be so naïve?

I am sure, we have a series of politicians who have benefited with kickbacks received in lieu of getting the loans approved.

  1. RCB:

Royal Challengers of Bangalore, the IPL franchisee should be auctioned. This franchisee from day one was a slap in the face of every single employee of kingfisher, whom Mallya owed money.

The day he bought Yuvraj Singh for whooping 16 Cr is the day the government of this country should have put him behind bars.

Imagine, he had money to splurge on a tournament which had become a den of corruption but he did not have a penny to pay to the employees he left in a lurch.

This is the mockery of our government, our judicial system and of us – the citizens of the country.

  1. Air India:

How can the lousy maharaja stay behind when I write on a topic related to Indian aviation industry? Did you know, the lazy, lousy, inefficient maharaja lost more than 40K INR during the time period Kingfisher lost 7K crore INR.

I am sure you wouldn’t.

Why would you? They do not borrow from banks. They are not accountable to anyone.

And most importantly, they are the “Maharajas of Indian sky”.

No wonder, our politicians still want to run the maharaja for another 200 years.

So when the maharaja lost more money than the King of good times, why are the politicians who ran the show (Praful Patel, Ajit Singh and much more) not held guilty for screwing the nation so royally?

Since we cannot get hold of Mallya, how about we get hold of Air India and recover our tax money (khoon pasiney ki kamayi) from Air India.


When I read stories of kingfisher employees, I am aghast. With Kingfisher, they lost hope.

Today when the tax department sends them a notice to recover the tax money Mallya flew away with, they are helpless.

Such is the condition of a mango man of this country.

We live in nothing less than the Banana Republic.

They were cheated by a corporate, who did not give a f*** about the country’s government.

Such was his audacity that he threw lavish parties on his birthday, despite owing the country.

Today, Mallya can stand up and ask “Why me? Why not ministers who ran the maharaja so inefficiently?”

Sounds similar to what BJP said “Congress allowed quattrochi and warren Anderson to run away with impunity. They cannot question us?”

They are right. We are a country of jokers who will kill in the name of a cow, shoot in the name of love jihad and do every monkey dance our politicians ask us to do.

But when it comes to asking our government “Sir/Ma’am. We know the last government sucked. Why can’t you be a little better and promise us a better future?” one of the reasons we got you into “power”.

We will meekly submit to their answer of “The last one did so”.

I wish I could write “We all should pay for Mallya’s mistakes” but I cannot because we already are paying for guys like him for years and will pay for another 100 years.

This is our destiny.

Unlearning the Art of Living

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar’s mega extravaganza to mark 35 years of the art of living got over last week.

The event surrounded by controversies was deemed a huge success by the followers of Art of Living.

Unfortunately, for reasons out of my hand I could not attend the event. In fact, I did not even cross DND during this jamboree to avoid the legendary Delhi traffic jam.

Did I miss something by not being a part of the event which saw the likes of Arvind Kejriwal, Arun Jaitley rubbing

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If you look at the event from the political perspective, I am sure I missed the perfect “smile please” moment. With the two adversaries, Kejriwal-Jaitley sharing the same dias without even uttering the unspoken word “DDCA” on stage was nothing less than a magic.

The respectable Ravi Shankar ji has done what no one could do.

This definitely is the real Art of Living – in peace.

If only, he had invited Sonia Gandhi ji (this was an international event. I am sure her birth in Italy would not have been a hurdle to get her on stage) and made her share stage with the likes of Modi ji, Kejriwal ji, Jaitley ji, the art of living would have turned into a perfect picture moment for the world to see.

Bigger and better than the kejri-Jaitley moment.

The next day headlines in the newspaper would have been “This is what we call The Art of Living”.

So what did this mega event achieve other than getting AAP and BJP on the same stage?

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar recently said “India has proven to the world it has the capacity to do something gigantic. Now we can even host Olympics.”

I hope Suresh Kalmadi did not read this.

He would be licking his lips on the very thought of another sports event coming to the country.

Seriousness apart. This article is to prove the detractors of Art of Living wrong.

I was filled with anger when they were busy spoiling the image of our country by blocking this noble art of living event.

The Mango Men of this country were fooled by few environmentalists (one of them included the son of Asaram Bapu). I am sure, he had some environmental agenda behind this 🙂 .

We all need to understand; The Art of Living event was not responsible for causing any damage.

The critiques wasted their time criticizing Sri Sri Ravi Shankar. According to them, the Art of Living is doing everything against what it stood for. One of the everything here is “destruction of the natural habitat of life which resided on Yamuna banks”.

I beg to differ sir and ma’ams.

First and foremost, Art of Living is an all exclusive human club.

There are no birds, animals or any other form of life included here. They only teach humans on how to live life.

Have you even seen them train dogs, birds, pythons? No.

So why do we expect them to care for birds, animals, etc?

I do not see any space for considering the habitat of birds, pythons or any of such creäture who would have been affected by this event.

They were never the target audience of this event.

We were to only raise eyebrows if PETA or SPCA or any such organization related to the well-being of “other living beings” was to do an event over their habitat. Since they cared for the other “living beings”

The organization was empathetic to the poor people and population of Delhi – the real target audience.

They did not raze an illegal colony of poor people or conducted this event near India gate. Something they could have easily done with support from ruling party and army.

They ensured the traffic woes of Delhi did not reach central Delhi by avoiding India gate.

As rightly pointed by an enlightened soul, Yamuna banks by the side of DND were nothing but drainage of Delhi.

Yes, sir. You are right. They were nalas emptying the drainage of Delhi.

You just did a noble task by clearing it all in 3 days.

This is not an easy task but a herculean task only possible by the support of AAP, BJP and the followers of the art of living.

God bless them all.

  • The “Learned” Mango Man