A new Constitution for the Great Indian VIP

Recently, few of our VIP (Very Important Persons) delayed the ever delayed Air India flight by few hours. They also asked few of our innocent travelers, who had paid ticker for the journey to get down and make way for them, the VIPs.

A trend was started in Twitter #VIPRacism. I found the trend to be in bad spirit. Why can’t we let our hard-working vipVIPs enjoy few benefits? At the end of day, they are the “Karta-Dharta” of our country. Why do we need to raise our voices, when they demand a “Little extra”?

We are no stranger to the VIP Culture. They are a part of our growth process. We, the mango men of this country have to tolerate their whimsical ways of our VIPs in every aspect of life.

As per the constitution of India, we all have equal rights. Make no mistake, the “rights” word here holds a different meaning for VIP of our country.

This made me think (a rare sight these days). The law of land should have a different constitution for our Indian VIPs. This news constitution should automatically include everything unofficially done by our “Very Important” Person of country. Let’s make this official.

Here is what the constitution of the Great Indian VIP should have:

  1. Right to Money:

The VIP can hold any amount of money. There will be no law or rule to judge the source of income, the expense done and the future investments. VIPs will be allowed to be discreet with their money.

They don’t need to hide black, white, green any form of money. Country will make it official for them to be open about his. This way, they don’t have to fool us by promising us to get back the colorful money. This noble act will also allow baba ramdev to focus on his business. The poor guy has wasted years of his precious life campaigning against “Black” Money. I feel for him.

  1. Right to kill:

I am treading on a dangerous road when I write this 🙂  . All VIPs should be given right to kill anyone, anytime per their convenience. The law of land should not intervene in their holy work. Whosoever they believe is an inconvenience to their VIP raj should be laid to rest shamelessly. (read : Saharanpur journalist murder)

  1. Right to be rowdy:

This one has been long impending. Why keep this unofficial? Our VIPs still get to damage public property (read : kerala MLA slug it out in assembly), slap fellow (inferior – not vip) citizens (read: stalin slaps a person in a metro), pass derogatory remarks in the form of threat (read : Papu yadav threats an air hostess). I think time has come to officially allow them to be rowdy. i.e, any VIP acting rowdy with his/her gang of rowdies should be allowed to vandalize, go on a rampage, beat public or do anything they deemed fit as per the new rule book.

  1. Right to own Government’s finances:

They unofficially own us and officially own the government. This gives them the inherent right to government’s finances and property. They should be allowed to do what they feel is right and not wait for finance budget to pass.

Why keep this hidden under the sheets? Our VIP should be allowed to do anything they think is right with government’s finances or money. For ex, they should be allowed to increase their own salary(read : MP demands more salary) , give perks to their kids, make passengers get up from government-owned air india (read: Air India delays flight for Maharashtra CM, Rijiju’s trip leads to few passengers being off loaded), travel without fair or use the money under MP/MLA fund as per their convenience.

It pains me to see this stupid tool called as RTI interfering with their day-to-day work. How damaging the effects of RTI has been for our VIPs. Time to kill RTI and let our VIP enjoy life-like real VIP.

  1. The VIP Sticker rule:

All VIPs should have a VIP sticker pasted on everything that belongs to them. i.e, cars, dogs, house, underwear, pant, shirt, watch, shoes, kids, house, etc, etc. This will allow them to run a parallel VIP class along with the cattle class. To make things easier for them, there should be scanners placed everywhere to just scan them, their belongings and let them get the ooh-la-la VIP treatment.

The above suggestions were written for the high and mighty VIP of our country. The wannabes should chill. To avail benefits from this new constitution, you ought to be an élite VIP.

By putting a flashy VIP sticker on your car and wearing few gold chains (gross guys) you do not get a right to be a part of the Elite VIP Class. Work hard, win some elections, and do few murders or loot some guys. The real VIP class awaits you.

After writing this article I feel like a VIP (Very Idiotic Person).

Who cares?

  • The “VIP” Mango Man

Author: The Mango Man

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