Eat, Drink and Pray by the rules of Government

I am highly offended with the new set of rules implemented by our dear state governments all across the country. Suddenly, the states have entered our homes. Now, they want to dictate us on what to eat, what to watch, what to study, etc, etc.

Isn’t this too much invasion of privacy? Can I get some breathing space please?

Courtesy :

Courtesy :

If these trends are any reflection of future, The Mango Man of this country should be worried. The time is not far, when your state will give you a check list of “To-do” and “Not-To-do” at start of every year.

Your New Year resolutions will be state’s property.

Let’s start with:

  1. Beef and Cow Slaughter ban:

We seemed to have taken “Holy Cow!” expression of Yanks too far. Suddenly, cow is a privileged animal. The rules for offending…I mean hitting a cow are so offensive that hitting on a girl sounds like a better option (no offence intended to feminist population). Maharashtra’s cow slaughter ban policy was followed by states like Haryana. There is a beef ban and cow ban in place by all BJP states. I am sure time is not far, when other BJP ruled states will jump on the bandwagon in their pursuit to save the Holy Cow.

I am fine with this ban on eating the Holy Cow but can you please ask them to clear the roads. From what I have heard, the next time you drive on the road and see a cow munching her food sitting in the middle of road. “Don’t Honk”. You never know, the RFIDed Cow can get you to be behind bar these days.

  1. Liquor ban:

This is one ban, the teetotaler public like me should be cheering. Unfortunately, I hate this ban the most out of all the bans. How can we decide on who drinks liquor or who does not drink liquor? What happened to the logic of “My choice”? Since when did law makers start deciding on how much I can be in my senses?

Come on guys. After a hard day of work, one or two pegs do not make a difference. On top of that, you gave licenses to few privileged 5 star hotels. I barely make enough to drink 8 pm at night and now you expect me to have that over expensive scotch in a 5 start hotel.

The state to start this ban is Kerala. I wish, if the lawmakers had shown a little decency in their conduct inside parliament, I might have digested this ban, out of respect of the wiser lawmakers implementing this ban.

Alas! The promoters of this ban have been pretty indecent in assembly recently. (read : The God’s own country turns into a Cartoon Network)

My argument against this ban stems from the figures of illicit liquors smuggled inside the dry states of India like Gujarat. The whole experiment with the dry state policy has been a complete failure (read :

The government of these states can beat their chests and openly declare about how much the public has fallen in line without liquor. Unfortunately, the figures and statistics have a different story to tell.


  1. Regional Movie promotion

Poor shobha de. She just landed in trouble for a sarcastic tweet on Maharashtra’s policy to promote Marathi movies. The state, in its good will to promote Marathi cinema wants the Marathi movies to get a prime time slot in multiplexes.

I like the whole idea of promoting regional movies, culture, etc but how can you decide “what The Mango man of this country should watch?”

Shouldn’t the quality of movies be responsible for pulling the right audience to movie theaters?

Rather than implementing or forcing a law that says “You have to play a Marathi movie at ____ time”, how about giving them more facilities and finding some good movies from the industry?

How this move from government helps the industry is what I fail to understand? Movie goers change their timings according to the movies they match. i.e, if they don’t want to watch a certain movie, they will never watch the movie, irrespective of the time slot this movie is playing at.

I read a news about some legislators in Karnataka watching porn inside state assembly. Out of curiosity, what movie time was that :).

Just asking.


  1. Geeta as a part of syllabus

Alright. Government has made up its mind about setting our curriculum right. Now schools in Haryana have to go through Teaching Geeta every month to their kids.

The order is to be implemented in all Government schools. They have to teach the holy book, irrespective of religion, cast and creed of students.

I respect Geeta. As a matter of fact, the book is definitely an eye opener. But asking kids to read this daily is definitely too much of a task.

What about private schools?

Hummm….They still get to read from CBSE books, which will sooner or later have something from some religious books. The rate race in between states has just started.

I so wish, our government could use these precious hours in some meaningful activities. Maharashtra’s famer suicide stories are heart breaking. Despite the series of promises made by governments, the ground level situation remains worrisome and alarming.

Kerala is far away in terms of development in comparison to many states. Only if our lawmakers could give a lesser thought to liquor and more to development, things will be so different.

Our Home minister Rajnath singh wants to get a cow slaughter ban in the country. My question to him is “Sir. Why decimate other animals? How about a chicken, meat and fish ban all across the country?” Let’s make the country a Vegetarian Country.

So in a time span of few months, our state governments consisting of BJP and congress have decided what we should eat, read, watch and drink.

The only part pending is what I should wear.

How about making Lungi compulsory.

It has been ages since I did my “Lungi Dance”.

Mind it!

– The “rules abiding” Mango Man

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Author: The Mango Man

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