The “Godmen” of India

How do you define a GodMan?

According to Wikipedia:

“Godman is an Indian colloquial term used in a derogatory fashion for a type of charismatic guru in India. They usually have a high-profile presence, and are capable of attracting attention and support from large sections of the society. Godmen also sometimes claim to possess paranormal powers, such as ability to heal, ability to see or influence future events, and ability to read minds

What Wikipedia did not quote here is the Super Visa power they have. This power includes political, money and Vote.

Let’s turn our attention to few of the Godmen or Godman of India (who have seen the exotic life behind bars) in our country.

  • Asaram Bapu’s fan base can put Justin Bieber’s twitter account to shame. The famed guru, never an alien to controversies had a free run, till the sexual harassment cases surfaced against him and before the guru could use his divine powers to invoke the Gods, he was behind bars.

 

The poor guy has been made to go through impotency tests at this age. We at themangoman, strongly condemn this 🙂 (and this time we are dead serious).

 

  • Rampal’s only claim to fame in a short-lived but adventurous GodMen career is his battle against the Haryana police and the wide media attention it generated. The ex-engineer (we engineers can smile. Finally, someone from the fraternity dares the Police and Government 😉 ) Claims to follow the path of Sant Kabir and has divine powers, which unfortunately could not save him, when government went hunting for him.

 

  • Nityananad Swami was South’s Answer to all the Godmen of North India. The young, charismatic

(I am kidding :)) babaji suddenly had his “Enlightening Moment” when he was caught with his pants (sorry Lungi) down in bed with a South Indian actress.

 

Not that the Godmen cannot have their kamdev moment but it goes against their preaching of leading a life of a hermit without any action in the bed. Unfortunately, public didn’t take nicely to the hypocrisy and babaji was behind bars without attaining Nirvana.

 

Coming to the ones, who have had their problem with laws but are still enjoying life outside:

  • Baba Ram Rahim has a dera in Sirsa and commands loyalty of millions of followers in the region. I read an article about his swanky ashram and baba’s love for foreign cars, etc, etc. It is said he is next in line and slowly but slyly, a case is being built against him.

 

Nevertheless, considering the reluctance of our government to pull up these godmen, you never know how much time it would take for the slyness and slowness to get the better of him.

 

  • Baba Ramdev is no Stranger to controversies. His illustrated career graph, from being a small time yoga guru to an entrepreneur baba worth millions of rupees could be a case study of any MBA course.

 

The only issue with him other than him being a loud mouth is his Opinion on everything to anything.

 

From being caught by police hiding in a salwar kameez to doing a disappearing act on Black Money, this is one baba, who has always stayed ahead of law.

 

I can’t even write he is next in line (considering his proximity to the ruling party at centre).

 

Why are there so many babas in country?

 

The explanation is very simple and easy to understand. First and foremost, we are a god fearing country, where we only fear God, when something goes wrong with the wrong stuff we do.

 

I mean, we are cool with killing people on the name of religion, harassing poor or using unfair means to earn money. But at the end of day, the almighty is the one who saves us.

And no one has seen the Almighty. So how do we reach him?

This is where the middle man or our own Godmen come into picture. They have the right strings to pull and make sure the Black turns into white and the white gets whiter, when the need arises.

From kala jaadu to safed jhooth, they are the masters of Magic and have a direct wireless connection to God.

Poor love them because they are the last solution to end their miseries. Middle class loves them because the Babas give them a way out of their hypocrisy and give them a dream to become the high-class.

And the rich?

Huhh…They love the Godmen because they don’t know what to do with their wealth 🙂 and our Godmen offer tax reliefs on all the black money generated without any TDS deduction.

How do they survive?

The Godmen-onomic is one subject where Godmen are least affected by economy’s upturn or downturn. In this economice, market being bullish or bear does not affect the messiahs of our religion.

They thrive on love, loyalty and fear. When the economy suffers, they get donations to make sure, the one in distress see The Achey din asap and when the economy is in boom, they get their cut for ensuring the ache din stay for as long as possible.

What about the moron writing this article:

LOL! I am hated, abused and rebuked for my views. I question simple things like why the Godmen travel in the best of SUVs when their disciples cannot even afford a MAARUTI 800. Add to it, the super lavish lifestyle. Blah, Blah!

At the end of day, I am considered too naïve to understand the complexities of this complicated subject and I am not complaining 🙂

These days I try to not offend my family members, friends and hypocrite buddies by expressing my views on this touchy subject, which has ensured peace.Image Courtesy : rediff

They look at me as someone who is inferior and ill-informed about the powers of our GodMen and I look at their Godmen as someone, who is next in line to go to jail.

I guess, this is a never-ending battle.

As they say “May the Best party win and considering the arrests happening regularly, I am winning 😉 “

The future of Godmen:

Prosperity is the word. Politicians won’t touch them because they command the largest vote share of their area. Public won’t leave them because they are too burdened by their misdeeds and hypocrisy and need a “God Connection” and police? I seriously do not expect much from them like they don’t expect anything from themselves.

Our only hope is the Judiciary and I hope, they get few more of these guys behind bars.

Author: The Mango Man

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