Who benefits the most from Porn Ban?

The ban-ban series is almost nearing a century. We have had beef ban, Movie ban, Chennai student body ban, liquor ban, valentine ban, etc, etc….Finally the mother of all bans is here.

“The Porn Ban”

My heartiest congratulations to government for putting us on the right track. Our mind infected/polluted by all this filthy porn can finally find some peace.

BJP has done, what none of its predecessors have been able to do. It has managed to curb the imagination of the porn banaverage joe of this country. “You can run you can hide but you can’t escape porn ban” is the message passed to average joe.

Irrespective of the hue and cry about this ban, I support this ban. I feel this ban benefits a lot of people, Concepts, culture, etc. Here is my list:

  • Sunny Leone:

When you think of porn in India, the first image to come to your mind is of Sunny Leone. She can now officially work in Bollywood in a not so nude avatar without anyone knowing about her past. At least, the next generation will never come to know about what she did before she took Bollywood by storm. This ban is a redemption for the sultry actress imported from penthouse.

  • College Students:

This ban is a blessing in disguise for all students, who put all their imagination to wrong use. Imagine, how much can country benefit from all the time saved from hiding porn inside “c: -> projects -> science -> project images -> temp -> new life -> delhi visit -> life”.

  • The ever growing population of India

We can increase productivity decrease reproductively of this country through this ban. i.e, the population can be immediately controlled. The sex starved public will not be able to think of dirty stuff in absence of porn. Hence, less sex.

My recommendation is to make sure the number of times you do the dirty stuff in your bedroom should also be curbed. Enough is enough, there cannot be porn on internet and in bedroom.

  • Kama-sutra:

With absence of fun on internet, we all can finally turn to the mother of eroticism. Yes, you read it right. Kama-sutra is what we all can now read. I insist, we make the book as a part of sex education in college. Finally, we can rely on something very Indian to teach us the right positions.

  • The small and medium porn websites:

They have only banned 800-900 websites. The number of porn websites on internet runs into millions. I see a future for all the upcoming websites, who had lain at the bottom of search rankings because of huge advertising budget of market leaders. I congratulate everyone in promoting the small and medium enterprises in this business.

  1. The ombudsman:

Government plans to hire an ombudsman (lokpal) to check every porn website. The level of ban can be decided by this noble soul. I envy this guy. His is one job, we all could never have 🙂

The real losers after this ban are:

  1. The two most eligible bachelors of country sitting at the top most place.
  2. The vela aadmi of this country
  3. The computer hard disk companies

And many more. The list is endless.

The incumbent government has played smart. No political party can come out in open and say “Please let them watch porn.” What will public make out of this statement is any one’s guess. Also, Rahul Gandhi cannot openly come and speak against this ban. His bachelorhood leaves too much to imagination 😉

This is one ban, I am really excited about. Time to tackle the problem head on. To hell with section 66 A or any other section which promotes internet freedom.

Either ways, watching porn is no internet freedom!

  • The “XXX” Mango Man

Author: The Mango Man

Share This Post On